Monday, June 30, 2014

The Title...The URL...explained.

The title: Relearning religion: Seeking a Savior.

My father's name is Salvador. In Spanish, salvador literally translates to savior. My father never saved me. I don't blame him. But he never saved me. Two years ago I made the decision to cut my father out of my life completely. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made, for me. It allowed me the freedom to focus on my own self-care, and self-love. It's the best for my overall well-being.

I was raised Catholic. Blame and shame are part of the package. There is a lot of guilt thrown into the mix as well. I was raised to fear the world. I latched onto religion to protect me. Care for me.

I stopped connecting with the Catholic church a few years ago. I pulled away from church altogether. It was very necessary. It also wasn't the first time I pulled away from church.

I've had years of religious education. I could educate any lay person on the "rules" of Catholicism, and what it "means" to be "Catholic". I thought I knew what it meant to be Christian. I thought they were very close to the same thing. I was wrong.

With all this "religious education" I don't recall much emphasis on the bible. I don't know much about the bible itself. I've read chunks of the book in school, but I don't understand very much of it.

Through a series of misunderstandings, I wound up at a Christian, non-denominational, worship service. The room felt very peaceful. I didn't know what was going on. There was a lot of singing. People spoke, and sang the name Jesus in worship, and praise. That's very new to me. I've frequently heard the terms God, Lord, and Christ. I rarely heard people say Jesus. Maybe I did, and just didn't notice.

I decided, just recently, that I want to read the bible. It may raise more questions that answers, but it's the path I'm on now.

The URL: embrace possible

I've been fascinated by the idea of possibility. Possible as a tangible quantifiable thing. Holding that thing close; having that thing sink it's way into my skin; containing that element inside of me; emanating it everywhere I go. It lives in light, grows, and blesses everything it touches.

I want to allow possible.

The interesting part. I've been intrigued by this P O S S I B L E for over a year now.

Someone in one of my classes had a bible passage tattooed on his arm. I went home to look it up. I don't remember what passage he had tattooed, but I found something else.

"And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible." Mark 10:27.

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